You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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