Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize