they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
