HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and she was petting her beer can
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
