Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
