And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
