Im at strip club and am horny
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
