today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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