guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
