She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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