Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
its not stalking. its research.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
