She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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