Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
