Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
