ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
whose ass print is on the piano?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
