i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he thought i was a dude.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We had sex on a dog bed..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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