So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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