Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
