hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
