i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
