i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
