Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
