oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize