I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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