Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
