I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
