Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
