you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
