I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
