Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
