...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize