you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
