Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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