Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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