benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
