...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
