"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
