it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
