I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she looked like the before picture.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize