would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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