ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
