The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
