You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
