I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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