Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
