Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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