i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just want nice things and good sex
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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