making cat noises will not fix the situation.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
