Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
