Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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