i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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