Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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