I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
