I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
