hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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