I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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