When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i think i have two assholes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize