So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
