well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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